Focus and Risk

JeDokGeom  2014

This is a sword. Not just any sword, it is my sword, a sword that I spent four years learning how to use.  And yes, it is sharp.  What the hell does this have to do with focus you ask?

 When practicing Geom Beop, in order to not injure yourself, and others around you, and by injure I mean a visit to the emergency room kind of injure, you have to focus. Nothing makes me focus like the risk of a bad outcome.  I work in a high-stakes environment. If I loose focus someone could be injured, or die. There are no do-overs in nursing.  Again, what does this have to do with writing? Writing requires focus.

Focus is one of the most difficult issues for people with ADD/ADHD. We have the ability to hyper-focus.  When we are hyper-focused, hours can evaporate as we immerse ourselves in a project. On those days I am always surprised when my phone alarms to remind me to pick up the kids.

Other days I sit down at my desk, all fired up to write, a bird will fly by, the frost has made an interesting and beautiful pattern on my window, 

March 2014

and then it is time to pick up the kids. Just like, that my two hours and forty-five minutes to write without the distraction that comes with three year old twins is gone.  

 I made a promise to myself to not let my issues with attention, organization, and hyperactivity derail my writing projects. In order to make myself focus enough to get coherent thoughts on paper, and not waste my time, I have to remember the risks.

The risk that someone will disagree with what I have written and accuse me of being an imposter / hack/ fraud, the risk that I might offend people, the risk that my family and friends will be unhappy / embarrassed / hate what I have written, the risk of rejection. I have to embrace the risk that I may be disappointed and frustrated by my failure to keep my promise to myself.

When I feel myself losing focus, I take a deep breath, acknowledge the risks, remember my promise, and treat it with as much respect as a sharp blade.

 Make promises to yourself. Embrace your risks. Write.