A Year of Women's Voice's Retrospective

I started my Year of Women's Voices project about this time last year. As an obsessive reader, book reviews are one of my favorite posts to write.  Each review features my thoughts on the craft of writing and observations about story telling learned from each writer. I have arranged my 2014 posts in chronological order, most recent first.  If there are writers here that you have not read, challenge yourself to read one new author this year.

Megan Hart: Lovely Wild

 
 Zoe Kessler: ADHD According to Zoe

           

Fiona Zedde: Delicious Desire

Alisse Waterston: My Father's War

N. K. Jemisin: The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms

                              

Patti Smith: Just Kids

Octavia Butler: Powerful and Evocative

                           
Jenny Lawson: Let's Pretend this Never Happened

                                                                                         

 Katherine Dunn: Geek Love

 The post that started it all: A Year of Women's Voice: Why I am Only Reviewing Books by Women

Taking the Long Way Home

After six weeks, ten thousand six hundred and ten miles, four suitcases, two sets of grandparents, and a wonderful start to the year, I am finally home. Happy, exhausted, and full of new ideas for this year's posts. I enjoyed writing my Year of Women's Voices series and will continue the book review series this year.  The blog will continue to feature tips for living with ADHD, time management tips, inspiration and ideas for writers and creative people of all types.
Last week I started a new series about money management and ADHD, follow this link if you missed it . Today I am starting another new series: Silent Sunday. Once a month I will post photographs / photo essays. Use the photos for inspiration, a story prompt, or just enjoy them.

Money Changes Everything: ADHD and Money

Money. The topic everyone wants to talk about and no one wants to talk about. There are many, many books on the market telling you how to handle, invest, save, spend and bank your money. Most of them assume that the individual reading the book has an attention span longer than a goldfish. Indivduals who have ADHD struggle with money managment for a number of reasons. Under-employment, inability to maintain a job/career, creative careers that pay irregularly, academic struggles that lead to low paying work, impulsive spending, forgetting to pay bills, lack of organization, and procrastination. This year on the blog I will feature one post a month about money. 

Money is difficult to discuss because so so many people equate their self-worth with their bank account. If you don't get anything else out of this series know this: You are Not Your Money.  In an environment where we are constantly bombarded by messages to the contrary, it is often hard to remember this. Money is a tool, it provides opportunities and access. Money can not buy you happiness, or love.

Money management is possible and it means you being in control of your money. I have been so broke I couch surfed before it was a thing, lived out of my car for six months, and ate a hell of a lot of rice and ramen noodles. When I finally was making money, I impulsively misspent and then spent 10 years paying it off. Did being broke make me bitter? Nope. I know that it won't kill me. I know how to survive. I also know that it is so much better to be in control of money.

If you are struggling with money management, I encourage you to take a deep breath, know that you can get it together about money, and that it is worth it. The first book that I recommend that you read is Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieveing Financial Independance by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominquez. Get it from the libray, borrow a copy, or buy it used, but read it. Some of it may seem dated but the exercises will help you get a handle on where you are right now in your relationship with money. My favorite exercise from this book is figuring out how much of your time you trade for things in your life. You will never look at material goods the same way after figuring out how much of your life you trade for things.

I will leave you with my favorite  quote about money:

 "To walk in money through the night crowd, protected by money, lulled by money, dulled by money, the crowd itself a money, the breath money, no least single object anywhere that is not money, money, money everywhere and still not enough, and then no money or a little money or less money or more money, but money, always money, and if you have money or you don't have money it is the money that counts and money makes money, but what makes money make money?"

Henry Miller Tropic of Capricorn (1939) 

Travel Journals

Challenging is the best way to describe writing while traveling. Routines are disrupted, changing time zones can be wicked hard physically, and with ADHD the distraction of new places can make it very difficult to focus on writing. If you are traveling with your family, kids, or even with other adults it can be difficult for them understand why you need to have time alone to write. Negotiation is critical for having an enjoyable trip and getting the creative time you need. I am grateful that my family understands that I need to take time out to write, and I am careful to not let it keep me from enjoying the moment.

Taking time to get out of your head to see and experience the world around you provides raw material for writing. Travel brings with it the opportunity to see new things, taste new foods, experience new cultures, and to meet new people. Take advantage of these experiences and collect your impressions in a travel journal, notebook, or other writing tool of your choice. I prefer paper for travel as I never have to worry about not being able to record my thoughts because of a lack of electricity. Small notebooks are great for this, and I am very partial to 5x8 hardcover sketch books. These kinds of books become a permanent record of my travels, fit in my flat filing system that I talked about here, and are unobtrusive. Although I adore fountain pens, I only carry cheap ball points while traveling, they don't  leak and are easy to replace if lost or broken.

Embrace the chaos that travel brings. Record your thoughts, feelings, and impressions. Capture bits of overheard dialogue and make character sketches. Use what you experience to enrich your writing.  In the past I have relied on a small point and shoot camera to record pictures as resources for my writing, this trip I am using Evernote to take pictures and write extensive captions so that I remember where and why I took the photo. No matter what you are writing having images to remember your experiences is invaluable. If you are Blogger this is a fantastic way to collect images for future posts as well as generating ideas for your blog. If you write fiction it is great to use images as part of your character and location sketches.

Enjoy your trip. Make memories. Record your life. Use it all.

Filling the Well

Taking time to think, plan, and rest is a key part of the creative process. I call it filling the well. It doesn't have to involve travel but it makes it way more fun if you can leave your everyday responsibilities behind. I can't say that traveling with four-year-old twins is easy but seeing the world through their eyes is a wonderful way to see old things in new ways.

I'm taking some time to fill the well. Take some time to fill your well. See you next week.

New Beginnings

Ha Long Bay 2009

Each  year I look back at the written list of goals taped to my desk. Some goals are always on the list. That doesn't mean I didn't accomplish them, some goals have no end point, such as being a supportive partner and a healthy person. Checking off a big goal always feels great. Looking back over the year and seeing check marks and lines drawn through a goal always makes me smile. I limit myself to ten big goals per year divided between Self, Family, Financial, Health and Community.

I don't make resolutions, I make plans. Each goal gets broken down in to tiny little baby steps. I don't get overwhelmed if I make tiny changes. I also know that small changes add up. Each day, I make sure that I have done at least one thing to move me towards my goals. It prevents me from becoming discouraged when life gets complicated. So many people say they want to write but don't write down their writing goals, fail to make a plan, and then wonder why they don't accomplish their goal.

If you want to accomplish a goal, make a plan. Break your plan down into small steps. Don't discount the power of small steps. How small? When the kids were babies and I stayed home with them, if I managed to get 250 words written per day I was very happy. Even 250 words adds up, and keeps you moving forward. It can seem that life is conspiring with evil beings to thwart your best efforts to keep going. A parent becomes ill, a partner has surgery, your kids get sick, you get sick, the dog gets sick, and so it goes.

The key in all of this is to keep moving, as best you can. You might have to stop and take care of your family and yourself, but don't stop forever. Pick up your notebook and get going again, don't feel like you have to stop forever because you stopped for awhile.

As part of my planning process every three years, my partner and I sit down with a bottle of wine and markers and draw a joint three year plan on poster sized paper. We dream, get silly, drink, and have fun. I post the picture behind the door in my office, right over my big calendar that I talked about in this post about how to keep track of multiple projects





It is not pretty to look at, but when we look back at the old one when it is time to do a new one, it is pretty amazing how much we have accomplished. Why? Because we verbalized what we wanted to do for ourselves and for our family, which means we work together to support each other in our adventures.
It also reminds us what our priorities are, which means we funnel our time, energy, and financial resources into our plans and dreams. Making plans is the difference between accomplishing anything and accomplishing nothing.

 People get hung up making plans because they try and force themselves to conform and write a numbered straight list, editing themselves as they go, afraid of writing down what they really want to accomplish.

This year, loosen up, get out your big paper, markers, beverages of your choice, and have fun.
Dream big.

 Have a safe and happy New Year.

All I Want for Christmas

                                                   

 Every year I find myself more frustrated with the rampant consumerism and ridiculous advertising messages implying that what you spend equals how much you love someone.  I have always hated that part of Christmas, and the pressure I see people put on themselves to buy the perfect gift, whatever that might be. As the Grinch said, and I am paraphrasing here: Christmas doesn't come from a store.  

As a nurse, I have spent many holidays at the hospital watching families get the best gift of all, a new person to love in their life. I have held hands as families have let go of loved ones too. Remembering friends and family no longer with us physically, I am reminded that each year is a gift. 

This year, all I want is more moments like this, 

                                                                 and this.

Take time to enjoy your family and friends this holiday season whatever you celebrate!