Halloween is the ultimate holiday for those of us who relish having the bejesus scared out of us. For everyone who loves the creepy, the gory, the freak show, the weird, and just plain scary this is our time. We delight in the month of pumpkin spiced everything to the core of our adrenalin soaked souls. In celebration of my favorite time of year, I have a list of thirteen reads for Halloween. So take a break from visiting haunted houses and treat yourself to these thirteen dark reads.

1. Dark Secrets: A Paranormal Noir Anthology,  Rachel Caine, Cynthia Eden, Megan Hart, Suzanne Johnson, Jeffe Kennedy, Mina Khan. This is a marvelous anthology of paranormal noir romance. It is all here, ghost stories, dark fey, vampires, tormented djinn, murder, mayhem, and death. Hell, the devil himself appears in these pages. This anthology is a Halloween bag full of all your favorite reading time treats. It is hard to resist the sexy bite sized story morsels that beg you to read just one more.
2. White is for Witching, Helen Oyeyemi. A creepy house, and a history of unfulfilled hunger passed down through generations, this book will have you swearing off of bed and breakfast accommodations.
3. Boy Snow Bird, Helen Oyeymi’s lyrical and viscerally terrifying novel that turns Snow White upside down and sideways. I enjoyed this book so much I immediately read every thing else that Helen Otoyemi has written, so be warned.
4. Family Dinner: A Tale of the Undead, Mark C. Scioneaux.  A family love zombie story with the best twist ending I have read in years..
5. The Resurrected Compendium, Megan Hart. A collection of terrifying, angry stories of the undead that dove tail into each other. These stories were originally released individually but are now collected into this gore fest of a compendium. The undead in these stories are not mindless slow walking killers. They are resurrected, pissed off, and they want what they want.
6. Apparition, Michealbrent Collings. A novel that creeped me out so bad I had to read it in small bits. It does for cockroaches what Steven King did for clowns. Read it in a well-lit room in the company of others.
7. Every Dark Desire and the sequel Desire before Dawn,  Fiona Zedde. Yes, I know this is two books and it messes up the count, but damn these feature fierce vampires done right. Bloody, violent, and sexy as hell, these vamps will have you on your knees, baring your throat, begging for a nip.
8. The Vines, Christopher Rice. Settle in for some southern discomfort as Rice spins this scary tale featuring family secrets, killer vines, and a hell of a twisty ending.
9. The Headmaster, Tiffany Reisz.  A fun, not so scary ghostly love story in the best tradition of weird tales. The banter and dialog make this a must read.
10. American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis. Disturbing, darkly funny, and violent. What's not to love about this book? If you are late to the party for this book, do yourself a favor and read it.
11. Dawn- Book one Xenogenesis series, Octavia Butler. There are rumors that this will be coming to television and as a huge fan of the late Octavia Butler, I hope and pray that they do not screw it up. Dawn is a dark futuristic tale that reminds us that in the universe, survival has a price, and rescues can be expensive in more ways than one.
12. Scary Stories to Read after Dark, Alvin Schwartz. Remember all those stories that you used to tell each other at over-nights to guarantee that no one slept, and that everyone was freaked out? This is a fantastic collection of all those tales, written down so that you don’t have to try to remember them. When your kids bug you to tell them a scary story, start them off right and read them one of these. This is best for older (9+) kids. Use your discretion. You know your kids better than anyone else, but be advised if you read this around the bonfire while camping be prepared to have your kids in your tent!
13. Books of Blood, Clive Barker. No discussion of horror can leave him out. If you have not read this collection of short stories by the master you need to experience these wonderfully horrific tales.

There you have it. So go ahead light the fireplace, grab an adult beverage of your choice and settle in with any one of these books to enjoy the mayhem.

Bars

Rebalancing Act

Rebalancing. The act of trying to stay on top of your commitments to yourself and others when your schedule changes. I have written before about why it is so hard for ADD/ADHD individuals to change their routines here.  As a parent with ADD/ADHD it is hard enough keeping my own schedule together, let alone the little people in my house. We started using checklists for the kids so that they can help getting us out the door in the morning and into bed at a reasonable time at night. The checklists are working well for them, and after finding myself spinning like the Ferris wheel above trying to get myself out the door one morning I think I need a checklist for me.
 Balance is really about rebalancing, letting go of what does not work and holding on to what does work. If I don't take time to examine my schedule and change what is not working, I end up frustrated, and crazed, and not getting anything accomplished. I started out this Fall thinking that I would be able to drop the kids off and head to the pool for a swim workout. I neglected to factor in that there are two aquatic exercise classes for older people scheduled when I planned on swimming, that it resulted in a very crowded locker room, and fewer lanes for lap swimming.

I got so frustrated that I skipped my swimming exercise. After two weeks of blowing off swimming I realized that I just needed to adjust my time. Every exercise recommendation you ever see says to do your exercise first thing in the morning so that you don't skip it, but for me, the morning is my most creative time, and the pool is too crowded. Instead of just giving up, I tried going after lunch and before I pick up the kids.  It worked, I get my swim time in, I have the locker room to myself, and I am in a better state of mind to deal with after-school-crazy time with my kids.

The willingness to try different ways to accomplish different tasks is key to success for people with ADD/ADHD. Let go of recommendations that do not work for you, and hold on to what works. Exercise really helps me with my focus, but I need to do it when it fits my schedule, not when everyone says you should do it.

This applies to every other task that people have opinions about when and how you should do it. For example almost every book of writing advice ever written advises that you write everyday.  Would that work for me? Nope, after a long shift at my day job I am too burnt out and tired. Write before my shift to get my writing in? Nope, not getting up at four in the morning to put words on paper, although I have stayed up to four in the morning writing when in a groove. What do I do instead of beating myself up about not writing everyday?  I make it count when I do write.  I set goals for word counts. I stick with what works for me.

Two years ago I participated in the madness that is NANOWRIMO (see my post here if you don't know what NANOWRIMO is) I only had weekdays to write, and only for two hours and forty-five minutes. So I sat down and figured out how many words I had to write each day in that two hours and forty-five minutes to finish.  Did I write everyday? Nope, but I still managed to get fifty thousand words written in twenty days. Find what works and hold on to it, and let go of any advice that does not work for you. Listen to yourself, research, experiment, read and re-balance to find your center.

Be kind to yourself, don't quit, find what works for you and do it.

Persistence: Keep On Keeping On

The most persistent creature in my garden

 Persistence and patience are qualities that every writer needs. Persistence so that you can keep going when others do not understand why you do what you do, patience as you send your work out and wait for a reply. Persistence as you continue to write and submit and edit. Patience as you continue to carve out time to write when you have a job/family/other obligations. Persistence to fight for your time to create.
If you are a writer/creative you have to keep writing, even if is only one sentence, keep moving. Some writers struggle with getting words on the page, and I wrote a post about writer’s block and not having time for it, which you can read here.  Making progress and achieving your goals can be achingly slow, and I have written about slow progress here .

  As a writer who wants to be published you have to keep writing and submitting your work, you have to keep producing, and you have to keep sending it out there. Why? Because one day you might just get that acceptance letter instead of a rejection, because if you don’t send it out no one will ever read/see/experience your work.

If you are writing and creating just for yourself, with no intention of ever sharing your work with anyone else that is fine, but if you are serious about sharing your work with others you have to be persistent. The flip side of persistence is patience. It is hard to be patient, hard to wait for decisions to be made about your work. 

So, what should you do to cope with the time between when you send  your work off and hearing back, and how do you cope with rejection if you work is not accepted? Get to work.

Write, create, paint, photograph, throw clay pots, whatever it is that you do creatively, get back to work. Be patient. Be persistent. Keep going.

This week a short story that I wrote was published. It is not the first time I have been published, but this is the first of my fiction to be published, and that makes it is special. So how did I celebrate? I wrote this piece, and got back to work.

Here is the publisher’s link for the book. I hope that you check it out, the stories are unique and I am very happy to have my work included in this anthology.

Click here for a link to the lovely Cheyenne Blue's site for more information about this book

http://www.ladylit.com/books/first-sensual-lesbian-stories-of-new-beginnings-edited-by-cheyenne-blue/

Here is the Amazon link

http://www.amazon.com/First-Sensual-Lesbian-Stories-Beginnings-ebook/dp/B0153GXMVY/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&qid=1441764047&sr=8-1&keywords=first+cheyenne+blue&linkCode=sl1&tag=harpblis-20&linkId=31622ccd0d43ddc1dc32bd9b1ede0989

ADHD and Resistance: Five Steps for Overcoming Resistance

Resistance is different than procrastination, but often they are linked.  Why do we put off projects, activities, phone calls, meetings, purchases, cleaning, laundry, exercise and a million other to-dos that will make our live easier, more organized and less stressful? Resistance. For individuals with ADD/ADHD what looks like procrastination is often linked to resistance. We may be discomforted by some aspect of the task, or have had poor experiences that we don't want to repeat. Sometimes resistance for ADD/ADHD individuals is linked to sensory issues that are associated with the task, or past frustrations with tasks. Figuring out what you are resisting is one way to end procrastination and move forward.  Resistance can create very serious physical problems, particularly when it comes to things like health checkups and screenings, dental care, exercise, and self-care.

Here are five tips to help you get past resistance.

1. Step back from criticizing yourself about not doing whatever it is you are not doing. Ask yourself "why am I avoiding this task/event/work?" Make a list of the reasons for your avoidance, in a non-judgemental way. Do not discount any reason that occurs to you, no matter how trivial the reason seems. Be honest. Remember that there always has to be a reason: "I just don't feel like it" is not a reason, there is always a deeper reason. Sensory sensitivities, a major component of ADD/ADHD are often at the root of resistance. Sounds, smells, and sensory overload associated with tasks and events can trigger resistance and procrastination.

2. Look at the list from step one. Ask yourself "What can I fix?" Be realistic here, if that six in the morning spin class is not working because it is too early, find a later one. If you can fix the issues, fix them. Is the mega-grocery store overwhelming? Find a smaller store or shop on-line. Be creative.

3. Pay attention to the seasons in your life. Are you dealing with aging parents, young children, teens, transitions, health issues, etc. ? Maybe now is the time to drop activities that do not fit. Often resistance is your mind/body telling you that now is not the time for an activity. Be careful here. Do not stop self-care activities like exercise and time for creative acts. Stop doing things that are not contributing to your well-being. Learn to say no to things that do not feed your soul.

4. If the task is something you can't let go of, like laundry, bills, or cleaning.  Can someone else do the task for you? If you can afford it pay someone to do the tasks you hate. If you are in relationship  consider working together, and each of you do the task the other hates, or do the tasks together so they don't take as long. Sometimes resistance is really resentment masquerading as resistance.

5.  Do not be afraid to experiment. Resistance to change for ADD/ADHD individuals has much to do with our need for routine which I wrote about here.  If you are still resistant, start again with step one, it often takes time to get to the real reason for resistance.

I hope these tips help. The next time you find yourself resisting, take the time to figure out why. It can make a very big difference in your mental and physical health.